Random Thoughts

i was having dinner with a friend and he was ranting on and on about his job.  he said a line which really stuck to me.  ‘hindi lang naman tayo nagtatrabaho para kumita’.  God, it got me really thinking about my job. 

i’m a resident in training in PGH. everyday, i always complain about it.  how my patients don’t have enough funds to buy their medicines, about how hard it is working and studying at the same time, about how hard it is to wake up early everyday to do rounds before 7 am, about how stubborn my patients can be, about how i cannot go home early on a postduty day, about the little salary we get every month, and about a million other things.  i can complain about everything and anything about my job. my friends and family could attest to that.  you would ask me then, why stay when you don’t seem to be happy where you are now?  ohh, i really don’t know.  it could be because i know this is where i can get the best training i could have or i could not imagine doing any other job than this one.  it’s a different feeling when i’m in the OR or when i’m delivering our pregnant patients, or when my patients simply tells you, ‘thank you po, doktora’, or when you see your previously toxic patients on follow-up at the OPD clinic looking healthy and beautiful.  i still cannot explain it even now. 

i still complain every chance i get.  everyday, i still want to quit and just go home.  and everyday, i convince myself that this is all temporary.  eventually, the things i complain about will pass and something even bigger will come for me to complain about.  i do pray that in time, there will more things to thank about this job than there is more to complain.   

Almighty God, Thou has created the human body with infinite wisdom.
Ten thousand times ten thousand organs hast Thou combined in it that act unceasingly and harmoniously to preserve the whole in all its
beauty the body which is the envelope of the immortal soul. They are ever acting in perfect order, agreement and accord.

Yet, when the frailty of matter or the unbridling of passions deranges this order or interrupts this accord, then forces clash and the body
crumbles into the primal dust from which it came. Thou sendest to man diseases as beneficent messengers to foretell approaching danger and
to urge him to avert it.

Thou has blest Thine earth, Thy rivers and Thy mountains with healing substances; they enable Thy creatures to alleviate their sufferings
and to heal their illnesses. Thou hast endowed man with the wisdom to relieve the suffering of his brother, to recognize his disorders, to
extract the healing substances, to discover their powers and to prepare and to apply them to suit every ill. In Thine Eternal Providence Thou hast chosen me to watch over the life and health of
Thy creatures. I am now about to apply myself to the duties of my profession.

Support me, Almighty God, in these great labors that they may benefit mankind, for without Thy help not even the least thing will succeed.

Inspire me with love for my art and for Thy creatures. Do not allow thirst for profit, ambition for renown and admiration, to interfere
with my profession, for these are the enemies of truth and of love for mankind and they can lead astray in the great task of attending to the
welfare of Thy creatures. Preserve the strength of my body and of my soul that they ever be ready to cheerfully help and support rich and
poor, good and bad, enemy as well as friend. In the sufferer let me see only the human being. Illumine my mind that it recognize what presents itself and that it may comprehend what is absent or hidden.
Let it not fail to see what is visible, but do not permit it to arrogate to itself the power to see what cannot be seen, for delicate and indefinite are the bounds of the great art of caring for the lives and health of Thy creatures. Let me never be absent-minded. May no strange thoughts divert my attention at the bedside of the sick, or disturb my mind in its silent labors, for great and sacred are the thoughtful deliberations required to preserve the lives and health of Thy creatures.

Grant that my patients have confidence in me and my art and follow my directions and my counsel. Remove from their midst all charlatans and
the whole host of officious relatives and know-all nurses, cruel people who arrogantly frustrate the wisest purposes of our art and often lead Thy creatures to their death.

Should those who are wiser than I wish to improve and instruct me, let my soul gratefully follow their guidance; for vast is the extent of our art. Should conceited fools, however, censure me, then let love for my profession steel me against them, so that I remain steadfast without regard for age, for reputation, or for honor, because
surrender would bring to Thy creatures sickness and death.

Imbue my soul with gentleness and calmness when older colleagues,proud of their age, wish to displace me or to scorn me or disdainfully to teach me. May even this be of advantage to me, for they know many things of which I am ignorant, but let not their arrogance give me pain. For they are old and old age is not master of the passions. I also hope to attain old age upon this earth, before Thee, Almighty God!

Let me be contented in everything except in the great science of my profession. Never allow the thought to arise in me that I have attained to sufficient knowledge, but vouchsafe to me the strength, the leisure and the ambition ever to extend my knowledge. For art is great, but the mind of man is ever expanding.

Almighty God! Thou hast chosen me in Thy mercy to watch over the life and death of Thy creatures. I now apply myself to my profession.Support me in this great task so that it may benefit mankind, for without Thy help not even the least thing will succeed.